Teen Depression: A Guide for Teenagers

The teenage years can be tough, and it’s perfectly normal to feel sad or irritable every now and then. But if these feelings don’t go away or become so intense that you can’t handle them, you may be suffering from depression. The good news is that you don’t have to feel this way. Help is available and you have more power than you think. There are many things you can do to help yourself or a friend start feeling better.

What depression feels like

When you’re depressed, it can feel like no one understands. But depression is far more common in teens than you may think. You are not alone and your depression is not a hopeless case. Even though it can feel like depression will never lift, it eventually will—and with proper treatment and healthy choices, that day can come even sooner.

Signs and symptoms of teen depression

It's hard to put into words how depression feels, and people experience it differently. There are, however, some common problems and symptoms that teens with depression experience.

You constantly feel irritable, sad, or angry. Nothing seems fun anymore, and you just don’t see the point of trying. You feel bad about yourself—worthless, guilty, or just "wrong" in some way You sleep too much or not enough. You have frequent, unexplained headaches or other physical problems.

Anything and everything makes you cry. You’ve gained or lost weight without consciously trying to. You just can’t concentrate. Your grades may be plummeting because of it. You feel helpless and hopeless . You’re thinking about death or suicide. (If this is true, talk to someone right away!)

Is your friend depressed?

If you’re a teenager with a friend who seems down or troubled, you may suspect depression. But how do you know it’s not just a passing phase or a bad mood? Look for common warning signs of teen depression:

• Your friend doesn’t want to do the things you guys used to love to do.
• Your friend starts using alcohol or drugs or hanging with a bad crowd.
• Your friend stops going to classes and afterschool activities.
• Your friend talks about being bad, ugly, stupid, or worthless.
• Your friend starts talking about death or suicide.

When teen depression turns deadly

If your feelings become so overwhelming that you can’t see any solution besides harming yourself or others, you need to get help right away. And yet, asking for help when you’re in the midst of such strong emotions can be really tough. If talking to a stranger might be easier for you, call 1-800-273-TALK in the U.S. to speak in confidence to someone who can understand and help you deal with your feelings. To find a suicide helpline outside the U.S., visit Befrienders Worldwide.

Coping with suicidal thoughts

In the meantime, the following suggestions can help get you through until you feel ready to talk to someone:

• There is ALWAYS another solution, even if you can’t see it right now. Many kids who have attempted suicide (and survived) say that they did it because they mistakenly felt there was no other solution to a problem they were experiencing. At the time, they could not see another way out, but in truth, they didn’t really want to die. Remember that no matter how horribly you feel, these emotions will pass.
• Having thoughts of hurting yourself or others does not make you a bad person. Depression can make you think and feel things that are out of character. No one should judge you or condemn you for these feelings if you are brave enough to talk about them.
• If your feelings are uncontrollable, tell yourself to wait 24 hours before you take any action. This can give you time to really think things through and give yourself some distance from the strong emotions that are plaguing you. During this 24-hour period, try to talk to someone—anyone—as long as they are not another suicidal or depressed person. Call a hotline or talk to a friend. What do you have to lose?
• If you’re afraid you can’t control yourself, make sure you are never alone. Even if you can’t verbalize your feelings, just stay in public places, hang out with friends or family members, or go to a movie—anything to keep from being by yourself and in danger.

For more suggestions and advice on how to handle suicidal impulses

Read: If You’re Feeling Suicidal

Above all, do not do anything that could result in permanent damage or death to yourself or others. Remember, suicide is a "permanent solution to a temporary problem." Help is available. All you need to do is take that first step and reach out.

Talking to an adult you trust about teen depression

If you are suffering and don’t know where to turn...

In the U.S., call the Nineline.org hotline for children and teens at 1-800-999-9999. It’s free, confidential, and available from 4:00 PM to 8:00 PM, Eastern Time, seven days a week.

In the UK, call the Childline.org.uk helpline for children and teens at 0800 1111.

In Australia, call the Lifeline.org.aus 24-hour helpline at 13 11 14.

In Canada, call the KidsHelpPhone.ca helpline at 1-800-668-6868.

As Will Smith once said, "parents just don’t understand." Understatement of the year, huh? It may seem like there’s no way your parents will be able to help, especially if they are always nagging you or getting angry about your behavior. The truth is, parents hate to see their kids hurting. They may feel frustrated because they don’t understand what is going on with you or know how to help.

Many parents don’t know enough about depression to recognize it in their own kids. So, it may be up to you to educate them. You can refer them to this site, or look for further information online. Letting your parents know that you are feeling depressed will probably motivate them to get you the help you need.

If your parents are abusive in any way, or if they have problems of their own that makes it difficult for them to take care of you, find another adult you trust (such as a relative, teacher, counselor, or coach). This person can either help you approach your parents, or direct you toward the support you need. If you truly don’t have anyone you can talk to, refer to our resources at the end of this article. There are many hotlines, services, and support groups that can help.

No matter what, talk to someone, especially if you are having any thoughts of harming yourself or others. Asking for help is the bravest thing you can do, and the first step on your way to feeling better.